Birthdays

• Glad you were the strongest sperm
• Celebrate your birthday the way you came into this world: naked & screaming
• You were shot out of your dads penis
• Who knew one tiny sperm could turn into such a douche
• Happy birthday, sugartits
• It appears someone has something to celebrate
• Shoutout to your mom and dad for making you
• A late birthday gift is better than a late period
• Smart, good looking, and funny. But enough about me, happy birthday!
• Happy Birthday, asshole
• Damn, you’re old
• I’m here to mourn the loss of your youth – happy birthday
• Didn’t we just celebrate this like a year ago? Happy Birthday
• Congratulations on another spin around the sun
• May the best of your past be the worst of your future
• Tell me again how old you are?
• You’re still hot after all these years
• Don’t fret over another birthday. You were already old.
• Your body is piling up the years, but your mental age is not
• At least you’re not as old as you will be next year
• I usually forget everyone’s birthdays, so you should feel lucky that I’m sending you this
• Holy shit, you’re how old?
• Count your blessings, not your wrinkles
• Another year has gone by but you haven’t gotten any wiser
• Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional
• Happy birthday to you & your massive penis
• Happy birthday to you & your massive tits
• Can I blow out your candles
• Glad you were the strongest sperm
• You should have been swallowed
{#} years of being a Twat
• If you wished for anal, not happening
• Happy Birthday to my best bitch
• Thanks for coming out of your moms vagina
• Too old for Tik-Tok, but too young for Life Alert
• Grateful your parents had sex
• Your dad came in your mom
• Happy developmental milestone