Congrats on Your Divorce

• Breakups are hard, but fortunately, so are other men’s penises
• Breakups can be slippery, but luckily, so are other women’s vaginas
• Congrats on your divorce!
• Wus-band: someone who was your husband
• Happy divorce! We never liked them anyway
•You’re free!
• Why’d you marry that ass hole in the first place?
•Difference between a divorce and circumcision: divorce gets rid of the whole dick
• Whoever said money can’t buy happiness has never paid for a divorce
• Now accepting applications for a real man {woman / person}
• You we’re too good for them anyway
• The only thing worse than your divorce is your ex
• You put up with each other for way too long
• Divorced AF
• Divorced and proud
• It’s not you, it’s me realizing I am too good for you
• It’s better to have loved and lost, than to live with an ass hole for the rest of your life
• Single and ready to mingle
• Sorry about your divorce, unless you initiated it
• Congrats on getting divorced while you still look doable
• Back to doing whatever {whoever}  you want, whenever you want
• I really wish you’d gotten divorced sooner 
• Better late than never!
• So I hear you are available…
• Please join me {us} in celebrating the end of my {your} marriage 
• Happy divorce day anniversary
• Enjoy no longer pretending to like your in-laws
•Divorce: a gift to those dumb enough to get married
• Marriage has made me {you} what I {you} am {are} today.. happily divorced
• The worst part of your divorce was how long it took you to do it
• Roses are red, violets are blue, I am so happy since I got rid of you
• You look good divorced
• Filing my papers under ‘happiest moment of my life’
• Cheer to your divorce – the end of an error!