Father's Day

• Didn’t need Maury…you’re 100% my daddy
• Thanks for not wearing a condom
• Your jokes are lame, but you are not. Happy Father’s Day!
• If at first you don’t succeed, call dad!
• Deadbeat dads, may your day be filled with guilt and shame
• It’s not a dad bod, it’s a father figure. Happy Father’s Day!
• Dad, without me.. today is just another day.
• Dad, you’ve always been like a father to me!
• Thanks for shacking up with mom – Happy Father’s Day!
• Dad, your pull out game is weak as fuck.
• You’re never too old to need your dad – Happy Father’s Day!
• Dad, no matter what life throws at you, at least you don’t have ugly kids!
• I feel so close to you, because I used to live in your balls. Happy Father’s Day!
• Dad, thanks for teaching me how to be a man.. even though I’m your daughter.
• What’s louder: your sneezing or your chewing? Happy Father’s Day!
• Here’s a cookie to add to your dad bod! Happy Father’s Day!
• Just trying to keep your dad bod intact with this cookie. Happy Father’s Day!
• Dad, I love you, but hope I don’t inherit your male pattern baldness
• Thanks for having sex with mom
• Thanks for cumming in mom
• Daddy’s little squirt.. literally.
• You’re the luckiest dad ever. I’d love to have me as a kid!
• Thanks for waiting to have a vasectomy until after I was born
• Thanks for being my seed, Happy Father’s Day
• Glad I wasn’t just a blow job
• They call me dad, because ‘bad ass’ isn’t a job title
• My dad is better than your dad
• You’re the best Mr. Mom
• Dad, remember when you {fill in the blank}
• Papa bear
• No one can out dad you
• Keep calm, ask dad
• The man the myth, the legend: DAD
• Sorry about your other kids, at least you have me
• Superdad
• Ain’t no hood like fatherhood
• Dad, you’re one of my favorite parents
• Without me, this day wouldn’t mean much
• Dad, you are the shit
• Like father like son
• Dad of the year
• Thanks for having strong sperm
• I turned out amazing, you’re welcome
• Happy Fathers Day from your favorite child
• World’s greatest farter.. I mean father