New Job, Fuck Yeah!

• Don’t be your usual self for at east a month.. congrats on the new job!
• Hopefully your new coworkers don’t suck
• Congrats on your new job! I hope this one doesn’t suck as bad as your last one!
• Congrats on your new job! How much did you lie on your application?
• May your boss never find out how much harder you’re capable of working
• Congrats on finding a new job during a pandemic
• Good luck convincing your new colleagues that you know what you’re doing
• I hope you’re considerably better at your new job than your old job
• New job, who dis?
• Hopefully your new coworkers aren’t cunts
• Congrats on your new job, that you probably won’t like any better
• You’re way smarter than you look, you’ll do fine!
• How did you pull that off? I mean congrats on the new job!
• May your paychecks be supersized
• Good luck finding better co-workers than us
• Congrats on your new job.. which a monkey could do
• I feel sorry for whoever gets hired for your old job
• Congrats on your new job.. a new place to sit on your ass all day
• May your hate your new job for different reasons than you hated your old job
• Good luck, bitch
• It turns out you are smarter than you look
• Life is too short to work with {for} ass holes
• Always be yourself.. except during a job interview
• Congrats on finding a new job you’ll eventually want to quit