Valentine's Day

• I’d swipe right
• I’m so glad you’re as weird as me
• You’re the one I text when I’m drunk
• You’re lucky to have me
• Be my cum dumpster
• Do you fancy me?
• If you were president, you’d be Babe-raham Lincoln
• I hope your day is as nice as your ass
• You are above average
• You warm my cold, black heart
• I’m still not sick of you
• You’ll do.
• Lets get naughty
• Valentine’s schmalentines
• I love the shit out of you
• You’re my favorite ass hole
• I’m so glad we got drunk and had sex
• I love you like Kanye loves Kanye
• I knew I loved you, when I farted and you stayed
• You’re the reason I get up in the AM.. JK, it’s to pee
• Fuck Valentine’s Day, I love you everyday
• You suck less than most people
• You treat me like a unicorn, when I’m an ass
• I fancy you
• Uteruses before duderuses
• Roses are red, violets are fine, you be the 6 & I’ll be the 9
• Thanks for letting me have sex with you
• I’d introduce you to my parents
• I love you from my head to my toes
• What’s Galentine’s Day? Only the best day of the year
• Cupid got it right
• If there’s a law against friendship, lock me up – happy Galentine’s Day
• You give me boners
• You bring out the slut in me
• I love your {genitalia}
• Ovaries before broveries
• Netflix and chill?
• Happy alentines day.. don’t worry, you’ll get the V later
• No one I would rather bone than you
• I love you love a fat kids loves cake
• Will you be my galentine?
• Hoes before bros
• Chicks before dicks
• Netflix and a BJ?
• Be my valentine
• Roses are red, violets are blue, this cookie is cheaper than dinner for 2
• Here is an edible valentine
• Valentine’s Day To-Do List: You
• Sisters before misters
• I love that I get to annoy you for the rest of our lives
• You take me from 6 to midnight
• I want a hickey on my dicky
• Chicks before dicks
• Galentine’s Day: a day to celebrate my fav gals
• I love you cause you’re like me, and I’m the best
• You suck less than most