• Didn't need Maury...you're 100% my daddy
• Thanks for not wearing a condom
• Your jokes are lame, but you are not. Happy Father's Day!
• If at first you don't succeed, call dad!
• Deadbeat dads, may your day be filled with guilt and shame
• It's not a dad bod, it's a father figure. Happy Father's Day!
• Dad, without me.. today is just another day
• Isn’t it crazy that I used to live in your balls
• In the past you’ve wiped my butt, in the future... I’ll return the favor
• Dad, you've always been like a father to me!
• You’re not a regular dad, you’re a cool dad
• Thanks for shacking up with mom - Happy Father's Day!
• I turned out 100% free of daddy issues
• Dad: the best thing since mom
• You got it right the first time! HFD from your firstborn
• I smile because you’re my dad, I laugh because you’re stuck with me
• Dear dad, remember my teenage years? Sorry about that
• Today we celebrate that one time you got laid many many many years ago
• Dad, thanks for having me, even if it’s only so you have someone to take care of you when you’re older
•Dad, I may not be perfect and that’s okay… I forgive you
• I hope today is as fun as your life was before you had kids
• Dad, your pull-out game is weak as fuck.
• Happy Father’s Day, mother fucker.. literally
• I may not have come from your sac, but I know you’ve got my back
• You're never too old to need your dad - Happy Father's Day!
• Dad, no matter what life throws at you, at least you don't have ugly kids!
• I feel so close to you because I used to live in your balls. Happy Father's Day!
• Dad, thanks for teaching me how to be a man.. even though I'm your daughter.
• What's louder: your sneezing or your chewing? Happy Father's Day!
• Here's a cookie to add to your dad bod! Happy Father's Day!
• Just trying to keep your dad bod intact with this cookie. Happy Father's Day!
• Dad, I love you but hope I don't inherit your male pattern baldness
• Thanks for having sex with mom
• Thanks for cumming in mom
• Happy Father’s Day to the person I always turn to for help (when I can’t find mom)
• Dad, when I grow up, I hope I’m as funny as you think you are
• Dad, thanks for sharing your DNA
• Daddy's little squirt.. literally.
• It takes a legend to raise one
• You're the luckiest dad ever. I'd love to have me as a kid!
• Thanks for waiting to have a vasectomy until after I was born
• Thanks for being my seed, Happy Father's Day
• Glad I wasn't just a blow job
• They call me dad, because 'badass' isn't a job title
• My dad is better than your dad
• You're the best Mr. Mom
• Dad, remember when you {fill in the blank}
• Papa bear • I put the TEA in LGBTQUIA
• Thanks for always saying ‘yes’ when mom said ‘no
• No one can out dad you
• Keep calm, ask dad
• My gift to you is another year of not having to pay for a wedding
• You are my favorite parent! (just don’t tell mom)
• The man the myth, the legend: DAD
• Sorry about your other kids, at least you have me
• Superdad
• Ain't no hood like fatherhood
• Dad, you're one of my favorite parents
• Without me, this day wouldn't mean much
• Dad, you are the shit
• Dad backwards is DAD, thanks for being consistent
• Like father like son
• Happy Father’s Day from your fastest swimmer
• Dad of the year
• Thanks for being my dad! If I had a different dad, I’d leave him to find you
• Thanks for having strong sperm
• I turned out amazing, you're welcome
• Happy Father’s Day from your favorite child
• World's greatest farter.. I mean father