• Just here to bang! Happy 4th!
• Time to get star spangled hammered
• Spilling the tea since 1773
• Is that a firecracker in your pants, or are you happy to see me?
• Happy fuckin' 4th
• U-S-slAy
• That's so four score and seven years ago
• Free AF
• Red, white and booze
• It’s not the 4th of July until my wiener comes out
• Treason is the reason for the season
• Parade, sparklers and popsicles
• Lets get lit
• Happy treason day, colonial peasants
• Fireworks and beer, that's why I'm here
• Too cool for British rule
• Party like it's Americas birthday
• May your fireworks cause less personal injury than your alcohol consumption
• Land of the free, home of the brave
• This 4th of July, the fireworks display will be in my pants - you're invited
• Fireworks give me boners
• American, fuck yeah
• Beer bong, suck my dong
• Drinkin' like Lincoln
• Happy birthday, America
• Happy red, white, and blue balls
• Red, white and brew
• Happy 4th to whoever invites me to their party
• Ain't no party like a Boston Tea Party
• Let's party like its 1776!
• May the 4th be with you
• Nothing compliments fireworks quite like a blow job
• I love my country.. aside from most of the people in it
• Party so hard on the 4th, that we ruin the 5th
• Fireworks aren't the only things getting lit this 4th